Today I’m in my lowest point. I got sick. My nose is blocked and I have chills. I don’t feel like doing anything and I hate to think that tomorrow is Monday.
Oh forgot to tell, just received my TOEFL ITP score last friday. I only manage to raise my score in average of 2 points ;( I know this actually, because I don’t practice much.
With this body aching and low energy, I couldn’t even think about my research proposal. I said that in my next post I would decided my lab for master degree. Sorry to tell, my research on searching university haven’t progressing yet.
Having a thought that its because I’m getting older so my priority wasn’t career anymore. But I don’t have a feeling to search relationship yet. Year ago I was so eager to getting married and imagining myself get pregnant and having baby. Just imagining those things it could made me happy and enthusiast. But now, not anymore, I don’t care looking for another relationship and don’t care about getting married and having baby. I just don’t care about my life anymore.
I really don’t have any drive to be ambitious anymore. I don’t know what should I do with my life next.
I wish that I could go back to my past and redo it from junior high school.