First thing first

Rain just start falling here. The scent of water and wet ground, the fresh air and colder temperature brings a nice and calm atmosphere. Its a perfect mood to write on my blog.

So, talking about my progress to pursue master degree. I find it is fearsome for some low achiever and clueless goof like me. I admit it that unfocused and insecure younger me resulting a bad academic record. Yes, I don’t have an amazing or standout academic record, yet I’m aiming a top class university.

How scary is that?

So, while being overwhelmed with my own goals, I start to look for an answer in google. Google is always the best and wisest friend you can rely on 😀 LOL.

Here is what I  found on quora about how graduate school admission work in Japan.

Read Ankit Ravankar's answer to How does graduate school admission work in Japan (especially for engineering)? on Quora

After reading it, I feel more intimidated because I have to put a lot of effort to dig in deep with research area that interest me and I have to convince my future academic advisor that I’m worth it to work with. Wow, what a pressure, right? I know, but I have to face it and start one small step at a time. Because I know I want to live my life to the fullest and be a better person in the future. So I must face it and break the limit.

I already took TOEFL test, the result coming up next week. Next step, I must find the lab that align with my interest. Currently, I’m in to machine learning, so I must find a lab that focus their research on machine learning and start reading a lot of machine learning journal. Hope by the next post I already decide my lab and university where I want to go.

Stay healthy

Ok, so on the last post I wrote that I will start eating healthy and working out.

The eating part is a little difficult because too much challenge such as preparing time and the smelly and unclean refrigerator. I’m living in monthly rent room so to maintain the refrigerator hygienic is hard.

The excercising part is the one that I have been doing well for this week. I start it out with a few basic and simple yoga pose such as cobra, underdog and plank that will build my back muscle and fix my posture. I combine those poses with this yoga solution from Tara Stiles.

I have been doing it every morning for 5 days in a row now, although I only doing it for about 10-15 minutes daily but I already can see the result. I have a better back posture now (sorry I can’t show you a picture because I hate taking picture of my self).

I hope next week I can start to cook and eat healthy. I also thinking about going to gym to get better shape. One step at a time for better self 🙂

 

Start small

For the past two posts I talk about achievement and passion. I think about it all day. What kind of goal I can set starting from today? Small thing that I can do daily but will gain long term accomplishment.

I just went to my big sister home and talked with sister in law about eating healthy and exercising. They talked about inspiring story, how people who constantly doing it gained health and look younger. That’s it! I decided to start eating healthy and working out. I think it is the best goal for now, because I have health problem like GERD, high cholesterol and doctor said I am near to obesity.

I will start diet and  think about what I want to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I will do yoga in morning and night and jogging 3 times a week in the morning.

OK!! I will shape my body and stay healthy!

I will update about it on my blog often, as long as I can 🙂

Enjoy the process

What is my passion?

While I’m writing this, I feel that I’m not doing my passion and I just live by a routine. I’m not really living my life.

What is my calling?

Well,  actually maybe I already know the answer. I always have the urge to create something. I thinks it’s the calling, but the problem is that I’m not patient enough to enjoy the process. I tend to rush my self wanting to see the result.  Therefore, if I stumble or stuck in the middle of the process I would gave up and leave it behind.

Other than having patience, in order to create something I also have to stay focus. It’s not easy because I have  a scatter and loud mind, the chatter monkey in my mind was very loud and all over the place. I can’t focus because one random thought come after another. But somehow, along the time it calmed maybe because I aged so that my mind become calmer.

A lot of thing I want to do. I just have to start it one by one and start it from the simple thing.

It’s time to start living and do something. Let’s enjoy the process. I will update it on my blog as often as I can.

Achievement

Prestasi. Ya.. prestasi apa yang sudah aku capai sampai saat ini?

Saat ini, keinginan untuk melanjutkan studi  S2 ke luar negeri begitu besar. Tapi aku dihadapkan pada sebuah tembok besar, yaitu catatan prestasi.

Untuk melanjutkan studi ke luar negeri tentunya butuh biaya yang besar dan salah satu jalan untuk membayar biaya kuliah di luar negeri adalah dengan mendapatkan beasiswa. Untuk meraih beasiswa, seseorang harus mampu membuktikan bahwa dirinya layak . Dari semua ratusan bahkan ribuan pelamar diluar sana, dia harus ‘standout’ agar bisa meraih beasiswa.

Supaya kelihatan menonjol, tentu saja seseorang harus punya catatan prestasi yang bagus di atas kertas. Inilah tembok terbesarku saat ini. Aku merasa minder dan mulai merasakan betapa telah begitu banyak waktu yang kusia-siakan saat masih di bangku sekolah dulu.

Salah satu penyebab kurangnya prestasiku adalah aku lebih banyak berpikir daripada bertindak. Aku sering menenggelamkan diri dalam pikiranku sendiri. Mencari ide, berpetualang, berkhayal, mengobservasi, menilai dan mengkritik semuanya kulakukan dalam otak. Semua hal-hal yang ingin kulakukan sudah kugambarkan dengan sempurna dalam kepala, tapi karena terlalu nyaman terbenam dalam pikiranku sendiri, aku malah jadi takut untuk mewujudkannya. Takut gagal. Karena semuanya begitu sempurna di dalam kepala.

Aku butuh sesuatu… motivasi.. kepercayaan diri untuk melampaui tembok itu dan merubah masa depanku. Saat terlintas itu, terbesitlah satu ide untuk memulai blog ini sebagai salah satu langkah untuk merubah diri dan melangkah menuju ke depan. Mulai dari yang terkecil dan mulai dari saat ini. Melakukan aksi dengan menuangkan semua isi kepala ke dalam bentuk tulisan.

Mulai saat ini aku akan meraih prestasi satu persatu sekecil apapun itu seremeh apapun itu di mata orang, karena yang terpenting adalah aksi. Yap, paksakan diri untuk beraksi!!

Semoga tahun depan aku berhasil meraih cita-citaku untuk melanjutkan S2 keluar negeri.

See you on top!

From the foolish who always want to be better 🙂